Linewaiter's Gazette
I forgot to mention that on the way out of the Park Slope Food Coop I managed to snag a copy of that institution’s house organ, the Linewaiter’s Gazette. Why is there no website or digest magazine that exists solely to chronicle the best of the writing in various Food Coop or CSA newsletter type periodicals? Called, like, The Onion. But seriously, you cannot parody that which parodies itself so acutely. This is from an article that, to be fair, I think was written by someone with her tongue slightly in her cheek (maybe?) titled “Halloween at the Coop: Trick or Tragedy?”
“Linewaiters in from of Brandt and Hansen were in agreement. Most had no plans to clebrate. An objection to the ‘crass commercialism’ of the day was one reason, along with wasteful costumes, environmentally suspect decorations, and an overaundance of candy. ‘Do American kids really need more sugar?’ asked one shopper who had no plans to participate.”
The letters to the editor are also priceless. They include a reminder that boycotting Israeli products is technically illegal, a protest against the use of glue traps, and a poem about global warming by erstwhile Gawker commenter Leon Freilich!
I have long believed that a Park Slope Co-Op mockumentary would be the most entertaining thing ever, though you’re right. It might as well just be a straight-up documentary.
1 hour ago • 3 notes![A veggie burger recipe that calls for “pound[ing] crushed veggie mutton.” Ingredients also include french fries, soybean paste [noted!], frying powder, and vegetarian ham.](http://7.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kspb41bGPN1qznoh8o1_250.jpg)
